WEEK 3: WHEN I FELL IN LOVE WITH DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I do not remember much of Dr. King before he died.   My parents would stop all activity when we had an opportunity to hear him. Having met Dr. King on several occasions, my parents felt his mission was vital to the cause of civil rights and human justice. We were taught to respect and pray for him routinely.

I also heard about him as Garnett, my brother shared the oratory, compassion, leadership, and some personal tidbits of Dr. King.  Now I wish I remembered the stories. When Dr. King was assassinated my father called us to prayer in response to his death.   His death was a momentous event and I wasn’t feeling it the way others did and could not share that feeling with my parents.

My heart belonged to Malcolm X.  His words were more aligned to my thoughts than a non-violent, strength in love message. Then one day I fell in love with King through a recording on the Vietnam War.  The message was eloquent, stirring and shared my thoughts. I had relatives and friends in Vietnam and actively protested this war.  Reading beyond the “I Have A Dream Speech” empowered me immensely to appreciate his comprehensiveness on injustice. He and brother Malcolm were so close on many issues.  I could love them both.

Dr. King has greatly influenced my life through various life lessons including the following:

• Rejecting people because you do not agree with their ideas limits your own growth and wisdom.  There could be gold in “dem der hills” but it takes time and relationship. We are quickly becoming a church and community that immediately “zaps” difference.  Everyone who disagrees with us is not a bully or an enemy.
• Greatness comes from perspiration, preparation and prodding by the “Holy Spirit”.   It was a divinely quick moment that King was thrust in the spotlight but he was already prepared for leadership and restorative justice.
• Personal imperfections will not disqualify you only if you let it disqualify you.  It was no secret then and now that there were some flaws in Dr. King’s life.   Thank God that paparazzi’s, video cameras and Facebook did not dwarf his servant leadership and compassion.  This is a lesson I have had learned over and over.
• Betrayal is always present.  Dr. King exhibited courage in the face of betrayal and death. Be prepared that people will not like you, will work on you, and someone will always try to destroy your vision, and mission. Keep the dream alive knowing and believing God’s perfect will prevails.   Do not walk in fear.

Finally in Dr. King’s words,  “injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” Live a life of justice and peace. This needs no further explanation.

Week 2: Breathe!

BREATHE!

 There is a sign on the wall of Curves, which states “do not hold your breath, please breathe to make the exercise more effective.”  I was not surprised when I hired a trainer who routinely reprimanded for me for not breathing.   I was so concerned about completing the exercises that somehow I didn’t breathe.

We can exercise more properly and for a sustained period when breathing properly.   It is during the physical exertion that our muscles need the ogygen to function without cramping. We know that lack of oxygen can cause major health problems. Incorrect breathing damages more  than helps.  Stress, lack of energy,  and even depression occurs when we do not  correctly spiritually  or physically breathe. We must learn how to breathe especially during the cycle of stress and work.

Leaders who do not learn to breathe hinder their own energy levels and can affect the whole.   Unresolved personal stress, going from one project to the next,  and lack of real vacation heightens a lack of focus and perspective.  Between meetings, training sessions, business luncheons,  networking, budgetary struggles, community organizations,  personal crisis, and family time, we stop breathing.

Breathe.  The demands of our callings must not become greater than the care of ourselves and families.    Rest. Let it out and bring new air in.  Get some clean air and clean perspectives.  Hear the positive inward voice again.  Ken Blanchard and Terry Waghorn state  in Mission Possible that “ as a leader the most  important earthly relationship you can cultivate is your relationship with yourself.”   This is done not out of vanity or pride but by strengthening your relationship with God, yourself and others.   It will help you understand what triggers your breathing problems.

Sometimes all we need is a sense of humor in seeing things. What looks like an attack or a problem, in humor, isn’t one at all.    It may just be that we failed to breathe. Leadership has less to do with position than it does with one’s disposition.  King Saul is such an example. King Saul lost his leadership because he lost his perspective.   He became more self centered, short sighted  and alienated from God and mission.

His skill was still there but he stopped breathing. He saw himself equal to the priest;  he  became angry at the people’s excitement to a new young staffer David, and became more and more self-centered.  As a result, he could not handle any criticism and became intent on destroying what appeared to be the problem- other people. In the end he was destroyed by his own passion and pride.  We must not become like Saul.

I am learning to breathe again and have to declare routinely: one, two, three, breathe. Life became so busy that I got caught up in the whirlwind of ups and down that breathing was placed on the backburner. I worked too much, laughed too little, took myself too seriously, and did not enjoy the simple things.  This caused me to sleep less and not take care of myself in general.  Between the daily routine and the imposed self and otherwise, work,  I had enough energy just to make it through each day and project. Now I am beginning to breathe.

Consistently learn to inhale and exhale.  Stay focused and balanced.  Exercise,  work it out,  enjoy life,  and rest.  You can do it because God is a God of new opportunities.  God will help us to literally shake it loose and shake it off.    With God, we can get still, rest, have some fun and know that having a consistent plan of breathing will help you go the distant and to ultimately win the race of life    Ok, let’s do it.  One, two, three, breathe.   Again.

 

 

Week 1: Adjust

I have several clothes that I designate as my travel clothes.  Knowing what I am going to wear provides stability and calm. They vary whether I fly or drive and allow the flexibility of multiple wearing on a trip.   When traveling recently to the Democratic National Convention, and the Faith Partnership Conference, I picked my black skirt, beige shell and beige and black jacket.  It is my “travel as a business casual professional look.” I am both comfortable and “cute” particularly if I see someone in the airport.

 All went well with the packing until I could not find the skirt.  I have many black skirts that could have worked well, but this is my special travel skirt.  I searched the closet several times and looked in other places but I could not find it.  Frustrated I begrudgingly begin to make other plans either to wear another black skirt or change the outfit altogether.   I was not happy.  It threw my game plan off, this was comfort and I was not sure how I would feel wearing something else. I spent more time looking finally going to sleep prepared to make the change in the morning of the flight.

The next morning I started the process of looking again until I realized that this skirt was hiding somewhere unfound.  It was clear I was going to have change the skirt.   As I was walking out of the bedroom I saw it on the doorknob.  I assure you I had looked multiple times on the door. I had meticulously moved clothes around and no skirt.  Now here it was hanging at the place where I looked so many times. There were many lessons for me at that moment.  Look and look again until you find it. Sometimes you are looking and never seeing; and be better organized were pivotal lessons.

The lesson I really learned was simply “adjust”.  The time I wasted looking for one skirt could have been used for something more productive.   The obsession that I had to look like I always looked denied the reality that I have a closet full of clothes ready for me to wear. Sometimes it is simply ok to go a different route, eat a different food, and not used the tried and true method.   Something more exciting is waiting around the corner when we do.  Even when it is not exciting, a heightened level of creativity is looming for us to grab.

When I returned from the DNC I semi retired that outfit.   I had given it too much power and control and began to wear other outfits with some emotional discomfort.  This year many people, ideas and activities will we not utilize because they are not from the tried and true group.  Adjust, shift, change and get ready for a new thing.